”You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with”. – Wayne Dyer
Have you ever stumbled into a crowded room, only to emerge feeling even more isolated? That’s just a glimpse of how a lonely person can feel. The simplest definition according to one dictionary is, ”sad from being alone.” How many of us have felt that way at one time or the other? Probably most of us. It seems as though everyday I recognize how alone I am, and it’s difficult to accept. But after contemplating for a while, I’ve come to know some ways of coping with this troubling state of mind.
1. Practice social skills.
Many of us wish we could improve our social skills. That includes me. I sometimes have difficulty looking people in the eye, often looking down in busy places, and slurring my speech around the people I’m interested in talking to. There is a possibility that this could have partly lead to my failed relationships, which might have caused me to feel lonely. In any case, try to learn as much as you can on social skills. Read books, take courses, and practice. Mastering your social skills including confidence, can be instrumental into developing stronger relationships, which can alleviate feelings of loneliness.
2. Dive into a passion and find communities of people interested in it.
One of my biggest passions in writing. Over the years, before I discovered online writing communities, I wrote and collected stories in little paper notebooks and shared them with past friends. Now that I’ve discovered blogging, I’ve found a way to channel my passions of helping and meeting people through my writing. What are you passionate about? It could be anything really. Next, search for communities of people who are interested in what you are. When you find someone who shares a similar passion as you, you connect with them more easily and reach more common ground to build a relationship. Online communities on the internet provide a faster way to find friends, and more communities, but you can’t meet in person as easily as you can when you join communities within your city.
3. Develop new beliefs on how you think about people.
I used to believe there was no point in talking to new people because I felt pretty sure that they wouldn’t like me. I’m sure you have felt like that before too. But the problem is your attitude towards people. Everyday on the news we are bombarded by stories exclaiming how humanity has failed. However, there is good in humanity too. Each human has lots to deliver and promise each of us, and while not everyone will be nice to you, you can still choose to see the potential in a new friend or at least a friendly acquaintance with whatever person you choose to interact with.
4. Maintain the relationships with people you do know.
Although I don’t have perfect relationships, I can still strengthen my relationships I already have. Even if you don’t feel close to your family, do nice things for them. Cook your mom her favorite lunch. Help your dad with the dishes. Go out with your siblings. Treat your child to something fun. Trust me, it’s worth it even if you say hi to an acquaintance. You can always excite your relationships with the people you already know by exploring new things with them. Motivate yourself to try to be satisfied with the relationships you do have, rather than craving for more.
5. Befriend yourself.
Say you have tried to talk to new people, and maintain the relationships with the people already in your life, but it’s not working out. Don’t give up on the world, and especially don’t give up on yourself. You are the most important person in your universe, not even your romantic interest. Treat yourself with care and respect as you should. Just because people don’t want to give you a chance, doesn’t mean it’s your problem. Drive out and go star-gazing. Ride the world’s biggest roller coaster. Eat at a fancy restaurant. Not because you don’t deserve friends, which is an absurd statement in itself, but because you are more worthy than piggy-backing on someone else for happiness.
6. Treat animals with respect.
There is more to the animal world than humans. Volunteer at an animal shelter and help out with the animals needs. Babysit a pet. Walk a dog. Adopt an animal if you’re responsible enough. Raise your pet with care and attention. Animals don’t talk behind your back, hurl cruel insults at you, and bully you like humans do. In fact, if you treat an animal right, they can be very loyal and attentive to your needs. But remember to not give up on humans, just look for the right ones. People are not as bad you might think.
Writing and Igniting 